Per newfound knowledge, some people will tell you "punch the shit out of the junction box and see if it starts"...
What I found is that hitting that hard enough jars the STARTER RELAY. So try tapping on that once with everything plugged in. Pop the seat off, and tap the relay while you are holding the button. Every single time I get that empty relay click with no start that works without fail.
Thanks to ******, I have learned of an omnipresent voltage drop. Check the voltage at your relay with everything hooked up. It is probably low. Too low, and the relay does not have enough voltage to flip over.
Removing the fuel pump relay probably takes the stress off the circuit that is causing the voltage drop.
I am considering wiring in yet another relay that can take anything as low as 4v and feed it battery voltage. This would give full voltage to the starter relay every time, but add in another point to fail. That and I am not 100% on how to do it (because I haven't looked into it).
If the bike runs without the pump even hooked up (and I know it will assuming everything else is working) then whether the pump failed or not, it should still start.